Couples counseling can serve many purposes. Sometimes, it can help a couple decide if they are right for each other. Other times, it can help a couple make a big life decision, such as whether to get married, have children, share finances, et cetera. Most times, however, couples counseling helps improve communication and intimacy between two people who are having a hard time communicating and being intimate on their own.
If you’re wondering whether couples counseling is right for you and your partner, see the ten signs below:
- Unproductive Fighting
It is inevitable that couples will fight, but the important thing is whether these fights are productive. A fight arises because one or both of the members is unhappy with something. A fight can be productive, therefore, if this message is communicated, and something is done to remedy it. A fight is unproductive when the message is not communicated, and nothing is done to remedy the unhappiness underlying it.
If you and your partner seem to have the same fights over and over, it’s a good sign that your fighting is unproductive. Couples counseling can help reset the way you have been arguing—and in so doing, help to uncover the real reason(s) you and your partner are arguing.
- Loss of Magic
Most couples go through a “honeymoon” period when they first meet. This is the period in which everything is in harmony. The other person is perfect, you are perfect, the relationship is perfect, et cetera.
Eventually, reality sets in.
How couples handle this transition to harmony to reality says a lot about their future success as a couple. Ideally, the magic does not disappear, but takes on a different form. If the magic has disappeared, however, it is not always because it’s gone. It might be that something else is getting in the way.
Couples counseling can help re-establish what each partner saw in the other, and then ask what is preventing that magical feeling in the present.
- Lack of Depth
Sometimes, the honeymoon period seems to last indefinitely, and couples have a hard time going deeper. Because a large part of couples counseling is the exploration of early family dynamics, couples often find themselves more knowledgeable about their partner by the end. This can help establish a foundation of knowledge and understanding that will be crucial for deepening your connection. See signs #4-6 in our next post.