What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy and How Does It Compare to DBT?

You can know exactly what you want to change and still feel like something inside you keeps getting in the way. You may want to trust again after being hurt, but find yourself becoming guarded. These reactions can feel confusing, especially when different emotions seem to pull you in different directions.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a way to understand these experiences by looking at the different “parts” of ourselves that influence how we think, feel, and respond. Instead of treating these conflicting reactions as something that needs to be eliminated, IFS encourages you to become curious about them and understand what they may be trying to protect.

Understanding what IFS therapy is, how it works, and how it compares with DBT can help you better understand how therapy can approach emotional and behavioral patterns.

What is IFS Therapy?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a form of psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. At the center of the model is the idea that our inner experience can include different “parts,” each with its own emotions, thoughts, memories, impulses, and ways of responding. 

IFS refers to these “parts” as “subpersonalities” within an internal system rather than viewing conflicting thoughts or reactions as something inherently wrong with you. At the center of your inner experience is what IFS calls the “Self,” a calm, compassionate, and wise part of you that is not defined by the difficult emotions or experiences you may be carrying.

When you are able to connect with this Self, you may find it easier to approach your thoughts and emotions with curiosity, calmness, compassion, clarity, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness. 

The goal of IFS therapy is not to get rid of difficult parts or force them to stop reacting. Instead, it helps a person understand why a part developed its particular role, what it may be trying to protect, and what emotions or beliefs it may be carrying. By approaching these parts with curiosity, compassion, and clarity, a person can develop a healthier relationship with their internal experiences and allow the Self to take a more balanced leadership role.

How Does Internal Family Systems Therapy Work?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps you understand the different parts of your inner experience and the roles they may play in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Rather than trying to eliminate difficult reactions, therapists help you notice them, understand what they are trying to protect, and develop a different relationship with them.

Step 1: Notice and Identify the Part

Therapy may begin with a reaction you are experiencing, such as anxiety, anger, self-criticism, or the urge to withdraw. Your therapist may help you slow down and notice what you are feeling, thinking, or experiencing physically.

You may then identify the part connected to that reaction. For example, you might notice a critical part that appears after a mistake or an avoidant part that pulls away when you feel vulnerable.

Step 2: Recognize Blending and Create Distance

Sometimes a part can become so activated that its emotions and beliefs feel like your entire experience. IFS calls this blending. You may think, “I am a failure” or “I cannot trust anyone,” rather than recognizing these as beliefs coming from a particular part.

Your therapist may help you unblend from the part by creating some emotional distance. Instead of “I am terrified,” you may begin to recognize, “A part of me is terrified.” This allows you to observe the reaction without being completely overwhelmed by it.

Step 3: Understand the Part’s Protective Role

Once there is some distance, your therapist may help you approach the part with curiosity rather than judgment. You may explore what it feels, what it fears, and what it is trying to accomplish.

A self-critical part may believe that criticism will prevent failure, while an avoidant part may believe that staying distant will prevent emotional pain. IFS views these reactions as protective, even when their strategies have become unhelpful.

Step 4: Explore the Burdens Behind the Reaction

As you understand the part’s protective role, therapy may explore what it is carrying. In IFS, burdens are painful beliefs, emotions, or experiences that can influence how a part responds.

For example, a part may carry shame, fear of rejection, or a belief such as “I am not good enough.” In parts work trauma therapy, exploring these burdens can help connect present-day reactions with earlier experiences that may have shaped them.

Step 5: Work Toward Unburdening

When the part feels understood and there is enough emotional safety, IFS may move toward unburdening. This does not mean erasing memories or denying painful experiences. Instead, the process focuses on helping the part release the extreme beliefs or emotions it has been carrying so it does not have to respond from the same protective position.

The goal is not to get rid of your parts. It is to understand them, reduce the burden they carry, and develop healthier ways of responding to your emotions and experiences.

What Are “Parts” in IFS?

You can experience different parts of yourself in everyday situations, especially when you feel stressed, hurt, uncertain, or overwhelmed. You may notice them as:

• A critical inner voice that constantly points out your mistakes or makes you question yourself.
• A people-pleasing part that focuses on keeping everyone around you happy and avoiding conflict or disapproval.
• An anxious part that expects something to go wrong, even when there is no immediate reason to worry.
• An avoidant part that urges you to withdraw or distance yourself when you feel hurt or emotionally vulnerable.
• An angry part that becomes activated when you feel disrespected, ignored, or treated unfairly.
• A driven part that pushes you to work harder or achieve more to avoid feeling inadequate or unsuccessful.
• A distracting part that turns to activities, entertainment, or other forms of distraction when difficult emotions become overwhelming.

IFS commonly groups parts into three broad categories: Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles.

Managers are protective parts that try to prevent emotional pain before it happens. They may seek control, plan excessively, criticize, achieve, please others, avoid vulnerability, or constantly scan for potential problems. Their underlying intention, in the IFS framework, is protection.

Firefighters respond when emotional pain has already been activated. Their goal is to reduce the intensity of the experience as quickly as possible. Depending on the person, this might involve distraction, emotional withdrawal, impulsive behavior, dissociation, substance use, overeating, or other attempts to escape overwhelming feelings.

Exiles are parts that carry particularly painful or vulnerable experiences. In the IFS model, they may hold feelings such as fear, shame, loneliness, grief, helplessness, or worthlessness. They are called “exiles” because protective parts may try to keep these experiences outside everyday awareness so that the person can continue functioning.

This does not mean that a person literally contains separate people inside their mind. “Parts” are the language IFS uses to describe recurring patterns within our psychological experience. The model is based on the idea of multiplicity of the mind, meaning it can contain multiple subpersonalities that interact with one another.

What Is the Role of the Self in IFS?

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the Self is understood as the calm, compassionate center within you that can lead your internal system. It is not another part; rather, it provides the perspective needed to understand your parts without becoming overwhelmed by their emotions or reactions.

When you are connected to the Self, you can approach protective parts with curiosity and compassion while creating a sense of safety for wounded parts. This can help protective parts, such as inner critics or controlling parts, relax from extreme roles and allow deeper healing to take place.

You may recognize this Self-led state through the 8 Cs: curiosity, calmness, compassion, clarity, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness. Some IFS resources also describe the 5 Ps: presence, perspective, patience, persistence, and playfulness. 

Rather than trying to silence difficult parts, IFS helps the Self develop a trusting relationship with them. From this position, you can better understand what each part needs, what it is protecting, and how it may be carrying painful beliefs or experiences. The broader goal is Self-leadership, where your parts can be heard without allowing any one part to take complete control.

Who Is IFS Therapy For?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) may be helpful for people who feel caught in recurring emotional patterns, internal conflict, self-criticism, anxiety, or reactions that seem difficult to change. 

Moreover, it may be particularly relevant for people who want to understand how past experiences continue to influence their emotions, relationships, or sense of self. IFS can also be used as part of trauma-informed therapy, although the appropriateness of any approach depends on the person’s symptoms, history, and treatment goals.

Parts work trauma therapy may be considered when difficult experiences have left you feeling emotionally stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or caught between conflicting reactions. For example, one part of you may want closeness in a relationship while another expects to be hurt and pulls away.

IFS can provide a framework for exploring these protective responses with curiosity rather than judgment. 

IFS may be used to support people experiencing conditions such as:

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Trauma-related symptoms
• Difficulties with emotion regulation

Research has also explored IFS-based approaches involving complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, and suicidality.

Importantly, IFS should not automatically be considered a first-line treatment for every condition. For example, current VA/DoD guidelines identify prolonged exposure, cognitive processing therapy, and EMDR as the trauma-focused psychotherapies with the strongest evidence for PTSD.

For someone whose primary need is learning how to manage intense emotions and difficult situations in the present, DBT may offer a different path. Rather than exploring internal parts, DBT emphasizes practical skills for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. 

Who Is DBT For?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is designed primarily for people who experience intense emotions and have difficulty regulating or managing them. It was originally developed to help people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), particularly those experiencing chronic suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and it remains one of the best-established therapies for BPD.

DBT may also be used for self-harm, suicidal behaviors, depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance use disorders, and eating disorders, including binge eating disorder and bulimia. 

You may benefit from DBT skills if you often feel overwhelmed by emotions or find yourself reacting impulsively during stressful situations. DBT teaches four core skill areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. These skills can help you stay present, tolerate difficult emotions without immediately acting on them, understand emotional patterns, and communicate more effectively.

How IFS is Different from DBT?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) focuses on understanding and developing a different relationship with the internal “parts” that influence thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. 

DBT focuses more directly on building skills to manage intense emotions, tolerate distress, and respond differently to difficult situations. Given that, here are the core differences between IFS vs DBT:

With an insight-oriented approach such as IFS, the therapist may help you slow down and become curious about the experience itself. What triggered it, what it is connected to, and why it continues to affect you. 

A skills-based approach such as DBT takes a more action-oriented route. Instead of spending most of the session exploring where a reaction comes from, you may learn and practice specific strategies for getting through the moment without making the situation worse. 

When IFS May Not Be Useful?

IFS may not always be the most useful approach at a particular point in someone’s treatment. Sometimes the issue is not that the therapy is unsuitable, but that the person needs stabilization before deeper exploratory work. 

For example, when someone is dealing with overwhelming emotional distress, significant dissociation, or immediate safety concerns, therapy may first need to focus on grounding, emotional regulation, and establishing a sense of stability. Research on dissociation similarly emphasizes building safety, therapeutic trust, and the ability to manage symptoms before moving into deeper emotional work.

Moving too quickly during IFS into painful memories or vulnerable emotional material can leave someone feeling overwhelmed rather than supported.

When the immediate goal is to develop practical strategies for handling emotional distress, impulsive behaviors, or challenging situations, DBT provides a more structured, skills-based approach. It focuses on building skills in distress tolerance, emotion regulation, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness that can be practiced and applied in everyday situations.

The right approach depends on what needs attention first. For some people, building emotional stability and coping skills may create the foundation needed for deeper therapeutic exploration later.

How Are IFS and DBT Delivered in Therapy?

In an IFS session, the therapist typically acts as a guide rather than telling you which thoughts or behaviors need to change. They may help you slow down when a strong reaction appears, notice the activated part, and explore what that part is feeling or trying to protect. 

The therapist may then help you access a calmer, more compassionate state of Self so you can approach that experience without becoming overwhelmed. This makes it a gradual process of understanding and changing your relationship with difficult internal experiences.

On the other hand, DBT is more structured and active. Your therapist may help you identify a specific emotional or behavioral pattern, examine what happened before and after it, and then practice a skill that could change your response the next time it occurs. Over time, repeated practice can strengthen emotion-regulation and behavioral skills.

There is evidence that psychotherapy can influence brain processes involved in emotional regulation. In DBT specifically, a 12-month study of people with BPD found improved emotion regulation alongside reduced amygdala activation and improved habituation to repeated emotional stimuli. 

Can IFS and DBT Be Done Together?

Yes, a qualified therapist may integrate elements of IFS and DBT into the same person’s treatment, depending on their needs and treatment goals. The two approaches can serve different purposes: DBT can provide practical tools for staying grounded during periods of intense emotional distress, while IFS can provide a framework for exploring the internal experiences behind those reactions.

One way to think about the combination is stabilization before deeper exploration. If emotions are overwhelming, DBT skills such as paced breathing, grounding, distress tolerance, and radical acceptance can help a person remain present. With greater emotional stability, they may be better able to approach internal experiences with the curiosity that IFS encourages.

The approaches can also inform each other. For example, someone may notice a part that strongly resists using a DBT skill. Rather than judging that resistance, IFS therapy might help the person become curious about what that part fears or is trying to protect. This can make the skill feel less like something being imposed and more like a choice the person understands.

The goal is not to assume that DBT prepares everyone for IFS or that IFS addresses the “root cause” of every problem. Instead, the therapist can determine which needs require attention first and whether elements of both approaches can be integrated safely and meaningfully.

Does Growth Thru Change Provide IFS and DBT in Philadelphia? 

If you are looking for IFS or DBT in Philadelphia, we offer both approaches as part of our mental health services. Our therapists work with individuals and families to understand emotional challenges, develop healthier patterns, and build stronger relationships with themselves and others.

Through Internal Family Systems (IFS), we help family members explore their inner emotional worlds and the different “parts” that can influence their thoughts, feelings, and behavior. By developing greater self-awareness and compassion, we help families move away from blame and reactivity toward greater empathy, acceptance, and connection.

Our DBT approach focuses on developing practical skills that can be used when emotions feel overwhelming or difficult to manage. We offer DBT skills training that focuses on mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Individual DBT counseling may also be incorporated into treatment based on a client’s needs and goals.

Whether you are exploring IFS, DBT, or both, our goal is to provide therapy that meets you where you are. We can help you understand your experiences, develop practical ways to navigate difficult emotions, and work toward meaningful and lasting changes in your life.

We offer therapy in Philadelphia, including Center City and East Falls, as well as virtual sessions for clients in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. 

Frequently Asked Question

Q. Is IFS or DBT more effective for anxiety and depression?

Both IFS and DBT may be used for anxiety and depression, but they approach these concerns differently. IFS focuses on understanding internal parts, emotional patterns, and protective responses, while DBT emphasizes emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal skills. Research supporting IFS for anxiety and depression is still developing, while DBT has a broader evidence base.

Q. How much does IFS or DBT therapy cost, and is it covered by insurance?

IFS and DBT are generally covered by insurance when outpatient mental health benefits apply and treatment is considered medically necessary. Without insurance, individual sessions typically cost $75 to $350+. IFS sessions may range from $150–$350, while DBT sessions range from $75–$300, depending on the provider, location, and treatment format.

Q. Do I need IFS, DBT, or a combination of both?

There is no single approach that fits everyone. IFS may be useful when you want to understand recurring emotional patterns and the parts behind them, while DBT can help when you need practical skills for managing intense emotions and difficult situations. A therapist can consider your symptoms, goals, stability, and treatment history when deciding whether one or both approaches may be appropriate.

Q. How long does IFS therapy typically take to show results?

There is no fixed timeline for IFS because treatment length depends on your concerns and goals. Research has examined structured IFS-based programs lasting 16 weeks, with improvements in PTSD symptoms reported by Week 16. Individual therapy may take longer, particularly when addressing longstanding patterns or trauma. Your therapist can evaluate progress throughout treatment and adjust the approach accordingly.

Q. Can IFS or DBT help with relationship or family conflict, not just individual trauma?

Yes. IFS can help you understand the internal parts that become activated during conflict, such as protective, angry, anxious, or avoidant parts. DBT teaches interpersonal effectiveness and emotion-regulation skills that can improve communication and relationships. Growth Thru Change also provides therapy for individuals, couples, and families, with services focused on relationships and emotional patterns.

Q. Does Growth Thru Change offer virtual IFS and DBT sessions?

Yes. Growth Thru Change offers virtual therapy across Pennsylvania and New Jersey, and its services include IFS and DBT. Its DBT program specifically offers virtual skills groups, while individual DBT counseling is also available. The practice provides therapy in person in Philadelphia and virtually for clients in eligible states.

Q. What happens in my first IFS or DBT session?

Your first session generally focuses on understanding what brings you to therapy, your concerns, goals, and relevant history. With IFS, your therapist may begin identifying emotional patterns or parts that are affecting you. DBT may involve assessing emotional and behavioral patterns and introducing the structure and skills used in treatment. Growth Thru Change also offers a free 15-minute consultation before starting therapy.

Q. Is IFS therapy the same as “inner child” work?

No, IFS and inner-child work can both involve exploring painful experiences and vulnerable emotional states, but IFS uses a specific framework of parts, Self, protective roles, blending, unblending, and burdens. IFS does not focus exclusively on childhood experiences; it can also explore parts connected to present-day emotions, relationships, behaviors, and internal conflicts.

Q. Can I start with DBT and move into IFS later, or the other way around?

Yes, therapy can evolve as your needs change. DBT may first provide practical skills for managing intense emotions, distress, and difficult situations before deeper IFS exploration. IFS can then help you understand the parts behind recurring reactions. However, the sequence is not fixed; a therapist can determine whether one approach, the other, or elements of both are appropriate at different stages of treatment.