relationships

What Is Your Core Conflictual Relationship Theme?

Uncovering the Meaning Behind Your Relationship Patterns Most of us pick up specific patterns of relating to others early in life. We may find ourselves facing similar dilemmas with different friends, or similar conflicts across multiple romantic relationships. However, we aren’t always able to detect these similarities as the patterns are developing. Think of how, …

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Uncovering the Meaning Behind Your Relationship Patterns

What is your core conflictual relationship theme? Uncovering the meaning behind your relationship patterns Most of us pick up specific patterns of relating to others early in life. We may find ourselves facing similar dilemmas with different friends, or similar conflicts across multiple romantic relationships. However, we aren’t always able to detect these similarities as …

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Holding The Mind In Mind: Mentalization and Relationship Health

Mentalization is a term that has been used in psychology since the late 1960’s. Mentalization is the ability to observe and communicate the mental state of oneself while imagining the mental state of others. The capacity to mentalize allows us to form and maintain healthy bonds to others. Through mentalizing we align our emotional state …

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Before, During, and After Coming Out: A Guide for Parents of LGBTQ+ Children

Many parents imagine they would want to be a supportive ally to their child in the event their child comes out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer. When faced with the task to do so, we may become surprised at our difficulty coping with the new information. This is why I always emphasize the …

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Understanding Our Children’s Development

Have you ever read something and it just clicks, you completely understand it and you can see the validity of it? I found this happening often when I was in grad school for counseling and mental health in 2018.  Particularly in my Counseling Interventions class my first semester, we’d be talking about a theory that …

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Love-Object: Attachment Theory & It’s Relationship To False Self

To Love and Be Loved A Very Brief History of Attachment Theory and its’ relationship to the False Self  The British psychoanalyst John Bowlby sought to understand the anxiety and distress  children experienced when separated from their primary caregivers. Bowlby shared the psychoanalytic view that early experiences in childhood are important for influencing development and …

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Knowing When Someone Else Needs Help

It happens to everyone—wondering whether a partner, family member, friend or colleague needs help. But how do we know for sure? Who are we to say? And, won’t they just ignore our advice, or even worse, be offended? The simple fact is that most of us do nothing about our suspicion because we are not …

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9 Signs You Could Benefit From Couples Counseling (Part 2)

Last post, we talked about three signs that couples counseling could be right for you and your partner. Today, we’re going to continue the list 7. Change in Lifestyle Couples are not immune to big life changes. They must weather their impact the best they can, but oftentimes, things become too overwhelming. Such events include: …

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